Miracles really do happen...

...we are living proof of that. Seems like so much time has gone by since Ryleigh was born. It is hard for me to remember now just how tiny she was. It is hard for me to remember that we almost lost her. I don't think I ever let that thought settle in my mind. I dismissed it. What a long road this has been. But even though it has been long and full of challenges, I do believe we are better for it. I will never take the grace of God for granted again and I will make time to cherish every moment with my family and my children. Even when they act up. It is sometimes hard to take the good with the bad but even the difficult things I will embrace especially when it comes to my kids.

I am starting to feel more like a mommy to Ryleigh. I get to hold her more and now I can feed her and change her and get her out of her crib without cords and wires attached. She is growing every day and we are so blessed and thankful for that.

I have been thinking a lot about the things that have happened in the last 9 months. This is one of those periods in time that changes the rest of your life. I believe the birth of a child is a life altering event in itself but this one has really made some changes in my life. Ryleigh really should not be here on this earth. It was God who allowed her to stay with us. The odds were stacked totally against her but He is the one who let her remain here. It seems as if he wanted to keep her for one of His own angels. I thank Him every day that He left her in our care.

I will now sit back and watch as my children grow together. I hope they will be the best of friends.

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!

Ryleigh weighs 3 lbs!!!!!!!!!!

Nothing else to report. I had a wonderful snuggle this weekend. Actually, I got two. She is such a strong little girl. She is starting to open her eyes and look up toward my voice when I talk to her. We brought her a Valentine Teddy Bear yesterday and we brought all of the nurses chocolate covered strawberries. Ethan handed his Valentine's out to his two favorite buddies. One is the unit secretary and the other is one of Ryleigh's nurses. He really enjoys seeing those people and he really loves his baby sister. Ryleigh has led us to so many wonderful people in the ICU there. We feel as if they are family in a way.

We are doing ok. Dwaine is my rock of support. Without him, I would be a puddle of mush. I am feeling myself spread very thin lately. I am trying to handle everything that comes at me all at the same time. I feel like I haven't had time to really process all of this that is taking place right now. I am extremely grateful for the miracles that have taken place in our lives with Ryleigh so I don't want to sound like I am not truly grateful for all of these things. It is just that I don't have time to even think about what is going on. I want to keep all of these memories in my heart but I feel as if everything is happening around me and I am going in slow motion and all of the other things are getting in the way of the here and now. Trying to juggle my family at home with hospital visits, a pumping schedule, work, paperwork (insurance etc), phone calls, a vehicle in the shop, household duties etc. When I do visit Ryleigh and hold her, I usually am so exhausted that I fall asleep with her in my arms. So I am feeling as if I am trying to be everything to everyone and in the process I am no good to anyone. Not even myself. I am trying to take care of myself too so I don't get sick and so I am not stressed out. Lack of sleep lately has hindered that as well. Just feeling a little overwhelmed. I know Dwaine is too. Both of us can't remember our own names half of the time just because there is so much other stuff cluttering our minds. Prayers are still greatly appreciated. That seems to be the one thing we can count on is the support and prayers from so many of you

A poem I found...

Dear God, as you look down upon us,
We know that you might have to squint.
We're located here in the NICU
It's the nursery that we rent....

There are many alarms and sirens,
Connected to condos and flats.
The nurses tape our booties on,
And dress us in funny hats.

We have a lot in common;
All of us were in a hurry.
For many different reasons,
Our storks came a little early.

Some of us don't know why
,We bursted out from our bubbles.
We entered into this world,
Never meaning to cause any troubles.

Mommy and Daddy are worried sick
About the odds that we must beat.
Please God, help them to realize,
That seeing us grow is a treat.

Breath by breath, we'll learn to breathe.
Ounce by ounce we'll tip the scale.
We're like a boat in the ocean,
That knows not sink- only sail.

For we are living miracles,
Mommy and Daddy must simply believe,
That you have angels watching over us;
From the time we arrive, till the time we leave.

From the March of Dimes.