A poem I found...

Dear God, as you look down upon us,
We know that you might have to squint.
We're located here in the NICU
It's the nursery that we rent....

There are many alarms and sirens,
Connected to condos and flats.
The nurses tape our booties on,
And dress us in funny hats.

We have a lot in common;
All of us were in a hurry.
For many different reasons,
Our storks came a little early.

Some of us don't know why
,We bursted out from our bubbles.
We entered into this world,
Never meaning to cause any troubles.

Mommy and Daddy are worried sick
About the odds that we must beat.
Please God, help them to realize,
That seeing us grow is a treat.

Breath by breath, we'll learn to breathe.
Ounce by ounce we'll tip the scale.
We're like a boat in the ocean,
That knows not sink- only sail.

For we are living miracles,
Mommy and Daddy must simply believe,
That you have angels watching over us;
From the time we arrive, till the time we leave.

From the March of Dimes.

January 30

Ryleigh has been doing so much better since the onset of her tummy infection last week. They are slowly beginning to feed her once again. Hopefully the 3rd time is a charm. She has done very well considering she hasn't eaten in about a week. She has been getting IV nutrition but nothing through her feeding tube. Now they are giving her 1ml per hour continuously. She has done ok so far but it hasn't even been 24 hours yet. Time will tell. Our doctors are so great. They have really been on top of her. If the least little things seems wrong, they are ordering tests to figure out why. I love Boone Hospital. There are some amazing people that work there. The nurses are beginning to be like family. When Ryleigh became sick last week, the nurses were hugging me and trying to comfort me. They really do take a personal interest in all of these little babies. It takes a special person to do that job. We pray for the nurses and doctors every day. They are truly special.

Ryleigh weighs in at 2lb, 1oz!! What a big girl. I held her today for 2 hours. It was heaven! She slept the entire time. The other day while I was holding her, she was awake and I read a book to her. She stayed awake for at least 20 minutes and just seemed as if she were looking at me while I was reading to her. It was so precious. We have had to keep Ethan away from the hospital this week as he has taken another cold. The rest of us are fine so far. Hopefully we won't get sick either. There is a huge snow storm headed our way tomorrow. I am praying that it doesn't keep us away from seeing our baby. I will try to update again tomorrow. There hasn't been too much new to report. That is a good thing! Hopefully she is on the road to recovery and we can't wait until she can come home. She will be one month old on Monday :)

Well, yesterday was an interesting day to say the least. We started off with another phone call from the hospital. Ryleigh was not tolerating her feedings at all again and they needed to discontinue them until her belly was better. She was full of gas again and unable to breathe well and just not very comfortable. Her heart rate would drop and her oxygen sats would drop also. The bad thing about having to discontinue her feedings is that they would have to try to restart her IV which was taken out a few days ago. In a baby that small, a regular IV doesn't last very long. Their tiny veins can't handle it. That meant that if they discontinued her feedings for as long as they did last weekend, they would have to insert a central line. They don't do that at Boone which meant she would have to be transported over to the university to have that done. Dr. G. wanted to wait until evening to see how her belly did. She also discontinued her cpap which she thought was one of the causes of so much air in her belly. She is on a nasal canula now.

So yesterday afternoon was a waiting game for us. When we went back up to see her last evening, however, her belly was back to normal!! So no trip to the U, and no more cpap, and they started feeding her today continuously instead of a huge bolus all at once. She is getting food at a rate of 4 cc's per hour. She has tolerated this very well!! I think she is so much more comfortable without that cpap in her nose too!Today I got to hold her again for almost an hour. It was so nice today because now I can see her face without all of the machinery attached to her. It is the first time I have seen her face! I saw her for about 2 seconds right after she was born and then they whisked her away but I got to stare at that pretty face for the longest time today. And what a pretty face it is...

Quick post

Just have a few minutes to post. It is hard to keep up with the Caring Bridge, this, and miscellaneous phone calls. So this one is going to be quick.

Ryleigh is doing fantabulous! She is getting better every day! Chest tubes are gone, she is on cpap breathing room air, and is taking 13 ml. of milk every 4 hours. She is well on her way. Dr. O'Connor says she is starting to put on weight. She graduated from her critical care isolette to a new isolette. I visited with her yesterday and she had her eyes open for a little while. She is starting to squeeze my finger and we get to hold her once every day for at least an hour. Last night was dad's turn. She loves to be held. Her vitals stay nice and even when we hold her and she usually sleeps so sound that she snores.

I am doing better every day. I haven't needed any of my meds for a couple of days now.

We have witnessed so many miracles since Ryleigh has been born. There are too many to count. One miracle is that I was able to keep her as long as I did. Another is that I went into labor when I did. It was during shift change and there were 2 doctors who did my surgery and Dr. O'Connor had just come on after being on vacation. So Ryleigh had a whole team working on her. Dr. O'Connnor is an amazing person. He takes these babies and cares for them as if they were his own. He is always at the hospital. We are so blessed to have such good care from these people.

Another miracle is that Ryleigh was really doing poorly when she was born. She was not getting enough oxygen into her lungs. As soon as they let me hold her, her levels started increasing and she has not had a setback since. Another miracle is that she is doing as well as she is for a baby who weighs less than two pounds. We have experienced so many miracles and we are very grateful for every one of them. I will never take this experience for granted and I will hold it in my heart forever! For as many problems as this pregnancy has had, we have been very blessed to have this experience.

Until later,

Kelley

Happy Birthday, Ryleigh

The reason I haven't posted any updates about my latest doctor visit is because Ryleigh was born.

Ryleigh Elizabeth Gelnar

born 12/31/10 at 6:18 a.m.

2 lbs. 14 inches long

Here is the story:

Thursday evening, I had some cramping. It wasn't severe and I had a cold so I thought I just didn't feel well and went to bed. Cramping went away but at 2 a.m. it woke me up. The cramps were worse and about 5 minutes apart. I don't know what labor feels like so I wasn't sure if this was it or not. I took Ryleighs heart rate and it was 184. Not good for a girl who usually runs 140-150. I woke Dwaine and told him we needed to either call the hospital or go to the hospital. Next I passed two huge clots and then we knew for sure it was time to go. We called David and he was there to stay with Ethan in about 2 minutes. Thank goodness the boys were around. When I got to the hospital, I was admitted and they did my vitals. My temp. was 102 which meant infection had set in. Knowing that, Ryleigh had to come out NOW! I was admitted around 4:00 and I was on the surgery table at 6:00. Ryleigh was born at 6:18.

She had a pretty rough start. They showed her to me and she was gray. I heard one tiny squeak come from her and then they intubated her and put her on a vent. right away. I was terrified. The time they spent sewing me up seemed like eternity because they had taken her away and I would not get to see her until my spinal wore off. I had no idea how she was. As soon as my spinal did wear off, they transferred me to a wheelchair and took me right down to the NICU. They had spent a lot of time trying to get her oxygen sats. to come up and it wasn't working so we all feared that she would not make it. The doctor seemed pretty grim and they let me hold her since we may not ever get to.

As soon as they gave her to me, her sats went up 10 points. After we left, she went up another 10 points and her blood pressure went up too. Must have been that she needed her mommy and daddy. She has been stable ever since. She had to have two chest tubes because they had to turn the vent up as high as they could to get her lungs inflated and she had some small tears in her lungs. Today, both chest tubes are out and they are talking about taking her from the ventilator and putting her on cpap. She came off one of her meds and all of her blood work and scans have come back normal.

All I can say is GOD IS GOOD! That is who I give all the credit to.

She is stable today and has had a good day today too. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully just as good as this one has been. Please, please keep praying for her, she is so tiny and has a long way to go. Thank you for keeping up with us and thank you for all the prayers. I will close by posting one of her pictures. :)

26 weeks, 1 day! Christmas week

I never thought I would make it this far! 26 weeks! If Ryleigh were born now, there is an excellent chance she would make it. The end to all of this is actually in sight now. 4 more weeks and we should deliver.

Yesterday's appointment showed my fluid levels to be 5.6!! That is really a great number. I would like for it to get a little higher. I have to honestly say that I have been a little lax on my bedrest. I have been up more than I should be. It is just so hard to watch Dwaine do all of the work and especially if he is not feeling well. We are all sick now with colds. Ethan has another sinus infection, Dwaine and I both have caught a cold. No one is feeling very well. I actually helped with dinner last night. I know I shouldn't do that. It seems like I leak more when I have been on my feet. So this week, I am really going to concentrate on staying on my butt. Last week I started bleeding again. I didn't call in this time because it was no different than last time. I know it isn't normal to bleed but when I told him at my appointment yesterday, he didn't seem too concerned. Just watch it closely. I have been taking my temperature and monitoring the baby's heartbeat twice a day. I love that heart monitor. Also within a week's time, Ryleigh has gone from breech to head down and back to breech again. She obviously has enough fluid to move around like that. If that is the case, she should have plenty of room for her little chest to breathe and there is a huge pocket of fluid around her face so she can breathe it in.

We had a really nice Christmas. I didn't go to mass on Christmas eve like I had hoped to. I started bleeding the day before so I didn't want to risk it. But that's ok because it was still much better than being in the hospital. I should be able to stay home at least until after New Year's. I am hoping he lets me stay home until the end but we'll see. So, Christmas was really nice, the boys ended up spending the night Christmas eve. I was so glad they did. We had our traditional KFC for dinner and then Ethan opened a few gifts. He opened a couple of gifts from mommy and daddy and he really wanted to open David's gift too. He got a drum and xylophone from mom and dad, and a drill and coloring book from David. This was the first year that Santa came to our house. So in the morning, Ethan opened his gifts from Santa. His favorite gifts were "Bud" Lightyear and Woody. We stayed in our jammies all day long and watched TV. Mostly we watched A Christmas Story.

Dwaine got us a new video camera and a bag for all of my camera equipment. The kids are coming back from OK today and we will celebrate once more tomorrow. The kids will open their gifts and Carrie will have to go back on Thursday. She wants to go to my next appointment on Thursday so that will be cool!

We have a lot to be grateful for this Christmas and I know that the New Year will bring us a new baby girl.

25 weeks today and Merry Christmas to me!

So guess what I got for Christmas today?! Amniotic fluid! Liquid gold! Fluid levels at the low end of being actually NORMAL!! Praise GOD!!

I really can't believe it. So here is how today's report goes. My AFI is 5.7. I haven't had any leaks to speak of for almost a week now. Not that I won't have a big gusher soon but at least for now, things are actually fairly normal. Every day of good fluid is another day of good lung development. Soak it up now, Ryleigh! Speaking of my little peanut, she has flipped around from facing my front to facing my back. She was breathing like a champ during the entire ultrasound and today they measured the ratio of heart to chest cavity. NORMAL!! Lot's of times when there is a prolonged lack of amniotic fluid the chest has no room to expand and the heart will take up the majority of the chest cavity. But, not so here. She has lungs! And a good amount of lung tissue too! Normal lung tissue! My prayer now is that she won't have to be on a ventilator when she is born. I am asking for more and more things along the way, so now I am hoping she won't have to be on a ventilator.

We asked the doctor today if things were going as well as can be expected. He said actually they were better than that. Out of all of the women he has seen this happen to, he said I am in the top 5% for successful outcomes! Talk about winning the lottery!

Yesterday, I had a really crappy day. I'm not sure why, just hormones I guess. I started to feel a bit overwhelmed by the holidays and feeling really lousy about all of the things Dwaine has to do to keep up and then I ask extra things on top of that. He has so much going on right now and I feel so helpless not being able to do anything. I have to talk about my friends, now. I have been blessed with the best people in my life. First of all, if people were not praying for us, we would never be where we are today. Second, I was feeling a little overwhelmed and I know it is my own OCD but I was really wanting my house to be in ship shape condition for Christmas. It is never really dirty or nasty but it hasn't been vaccuumed in over 2 weeks and the floors and whatever else. Now a clean house to me is like a trip to the spa. It feels wonderful!! That's just the way I am. I've gotten better about it but still not completely over it. When I was single, I would vaccuum twice a week and the place was immaculate! Now my house is lived in but not a pig pen by any means. I was really OCD before so I think I have let a little bit of that go. It just feels so nice to not have dog hair stick to my socks. Now to the point. My friends have volunteered to come over this week and take care of all that for me, like Santa's little elves. They are always willing and eager to help out and I don't even have to ask. I only hope to repay them someday.

I have so many other friends who have helped out by either calling or visiting or running errands for me. There are others who have brought countless meals and have kept us well fed. I am grateful to all of these people who have touched our lives. People who have been close to me for years and people whom I have just gotten to know more recently. Also people whom I have never even met in person. People I have met online in a support group. Another woman who has shared her story with me personally who also shared the same doctor and the same problems I do. These people truly care about me and what happens. I am overwhelmed.

I guess what I really want to say is thank you to all of these people. I love all of you and I wish you every blessing in the world. Also know that I keep you all in my prayers daily. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

And Ryleigh's too.