Just thinking....

I have been thinking about a few things lately. Probably because I have had a little extra time on my hands the last few days. Dwaine has been in Washington, DC and I have been solo for the last 3 days. Sometimes it helps me to journal to get my thoughts in perspective.

I have been thinking about the adoption the last several days. Mostly in part because I have been looking at that stupid Rumor Queen site. This last month there were again, only 7 days worth of referrals. That puts us into the middle of November 2005. We were logged in Feb. 2007. If they only do one week of referrals per month, we will be dead before we get to go to China. I know that is very pessimistic and usually, I am not so much so but for some reason, I can't stop thinking about it lately. I don't want to be a mom who takes her kid out in public and everyone thinks the kid is her grandchild. I don't want to be too old to take good care of my daughter.

The other thing I have been thinking about is my dad. For whatever reason, he has been on my mind a lot lately. He will never see my children. He will not be a grandfather. This makes me incredibly sad. I miss him more and more all of the time. Just when I think it gets better, then it hits me all over again. I really hate that. He was such a good person and I always want to be like him.

I miss you, dad.

Kelley

Hello again

Hi everybody,

Just a quick update and a few miscellaneous items. Mostly though, I wanted to send a few pictures.

For those of you still interested in contributing quilt squares, I still need many more. I think I have around 30 now from various parts of the country. So far most have been from my Yahoo group. They have been very unique and all very cute. I can't wait to start looking at quilt designs. I mentioned that I have around 30 squares so far. Did I mention that I need about 70 more? (Hint, hint) You can send one, or more than one. I know many are looking and working on it. So far, I have only received 2 from friends of mine from here. All others have been from people from my online group. So be original, and make it something that represents who you are. Remember, the fabric should be 100 % cotton and preferrably pre-washed. Please enclose a postcard with a wish for Ryleigh and attach a small piece of the fabric to the postcard. If you have any question, please e-mail or call me.

On a side note, I mentioned that we had just gotten back from New Jersey. Here are a couple of pictures of Carrie in her pageant. She competed last year and placed in the top 10. She did a much better job in the pageant this year. Her singing gets better all of the time and of course she sang for the talent part of the competition. She was more confident and less nervous this year. She didn't place at all but none of the girls that placed last year did as well this year. I guess it is because you never know what the judges expect. They are different every year. We are really proud of her though. She came home this week and will be here until Tuesday. We have all had a nice visit and she and I spent a day at the spa last week. We have been having a good time. I wish she could come home more often. She will be going to Washington DC to spend the rest of the summer with her boyfriend, Gus. Then back to Westminster to begin grad school in the fall.

David is doing well. We haven't heard from him this weekend but last time Dwaine spoke to him, he sounded really good. He had rifle training a couple of weeks ago and scored high enough to be classified as a sharp shooter. Maybe those video games have paid off ;)

Dwaine and I are doing just fine. Still waiting to start remodelling on our house. I can't wait! We are refinishing the basement, getting new kitchen cabinets and countertops and combining the two back bedrooms to make one large master suite with a huge bathroom. We are putting an additional bedroom in the basement so we will still have three bedrooms. We are also adding a shower to the downstairs bath to make it a full bathroom. Right now we are waiting on the contractors to give us the word to order the cabinets. We are waiting on them to finish up another job before they start ours.

Well, hope you are all doing well and all of you please stay in touch.

Also, congratulations to my friend Becky who is expecting her third child! Congratulations!

Love you all,

Kelley & Dwaine

It's been awhile....

Hi everybody,

It has been too long since I've written. We have been really, really busy. My aunt and uncle (Mary & Jim) came to visit us two weeks ago. We had a really nice visit and went shopping and out to dinner. We really enjoyed them coming to visit. We celebrated Mary's birthday while they were here.

Last weekend, we went to New Jersey. We left on Wed. and came back on Sunday (Father's Day) Carrie was in the Miss New Jersey pageant. We are soooooo proud of her. She didn't place this year like she did last year but it seems like none of the girls who placed last year went to the top 10 this year. However, we thought she did so much better this year than last. Also her vocal skills just keep getting better and better. She sang opera. Don't ask me the name of the piece because I don't know what it was and it wasn't in English but it was beautiful anyway. The weather was nice and cool while we were there and we walked along the boardwalk every day we were there. Patti and Kathy went also. We had a nice visit with them also. This year's visit to New Jersey was a lot less hectic than last year's visit. We stayed in Ocean City this year where the pageant was being held. Last year we stayed in Absecon which is a 30 minute drive from O.C. That was a real pain.

We also met up with another couple from my Yahoo! online adoption group. Heather and Paul Peters. They live in Philly and were kind enough to meet us close to where we were staying. We had a really nice lunch with them and we exchanged gifts for our daughters. I got Heather a small ladybug purse for her baby and a quilt square for her 100 good wishes quilt. She got Ryleigh a Mulan Barbie which, I understand, are difficult to find. I have started a small collection of things that I have either bought or received for Ryleigh. I don't like to buy things because for whatever reason, I feel like I will jinx the whole adoption process. Sounds goofy, I know but I have nightmares of buying baby clothes and furniture and supplies and setting up a nursery and then something bad happens and for whatever reason the adoption doesn't go through. Crazy, but that's me I guess.

We got back on Father's Day and came home to a mess. Our a.c. went out while we were gone and the moles had declared war on our yard. The grass was knee high and my outdoor potted plants were fried from the heat even though Ryan and Chris had watered them. So Father's Day turned out to be a home improvement day. We celebrated Father's Day on Monday and also Ryan's birthday. He is 16 now. Chris stayed with him while we were gone and took him out for his birthday on Thursday eve. Chris is trying to make a man out of Ryan I suppose because he took him to Hooter's. Needless to say, the waitress made him get up in front of everyone and embarrassed him quite a lot! I wish he had taken pictures because it sounded like it was really funny.

Carrie came home on Thursday this week and we have been enjoying her visit. She will be here until July 3rd. I am taking her for a spa day on Wednesday so we can bond and be pampered.

David is doing really well in basic training. He calls us once a week and he sounds so upbeat. He seems really proud of what he is doing and he has accomplished a lot so far. He graduates from basic training at the end of July. I am really proud of him too.

So life here at the Gelnar's has been really good lately. I am really grateful for all of the wonderful things we have been blessed with. I am mostly grateful for my family. I hope you are all doing well. I will have a little more time to update my blog here in a couple of weeks and I will try to include more pictures.

So until later,

We love you all - Kelley & Dwaine

Just an update...

Here's the latest from the Gelnar house.

We did celebrate our third month anniversary since LID. 3 down ? more to go. Still waiting. We did get the mysterious "Brown Envelope" in the mail yesterday. This envelope contains more paperwork (imagine that) to fill out for our visas when we go to China. Apparently it isn't anything we need to fill out until we get there. The thing I think is neat is that at least someone in China recognizes the fact that we are waiting for a child and they have sent us paperwork to acknowledge that fact.

I have posted a couple more pictures of some really cute quilt squares I have gotten in the mail recently. I have 20 so far. I just need 80 more. Start sending those squares everybody! Chris is working on his. I think that's really cool that he wants to participate. I have my squares ready to mail out to my group. The cards to go with them turned out really great. Dwaine wrote a poem to go on the card. He wants to be a part of this as much as I do. It is really great that he is taking such an active role in the whole process. Not only did he help with the initial paperwork, he is participating in little things like the quilt square exchange also. He is the greatest husband ever!

Another family update... We have heard from David twice now. He has been in basic training for almost 2 weeks. He injured his knee on the very first day. He is wearing a knee brace but he says it is doing fine. He also had an injury to his arm which got infected and he had to spend the night in the hospital to treat it. His spirits seem to be really good and he says that it is actually getting a little easier. I am sure they are working very hard. He only has about 5 minutes to talk to us once a week. He has alternated calling Dwaine and his mom too. We are sending him letters making sure he has mail when they have mail call.

Ryan is out of school next week. He is starting summer school shortly after that. His birthday is June 16 and he will be 16. We are going to give him my car to drive but not until next year. That means I get a new car!! How great is that! I am looking to get something large enough to fit a baby seat in the back.

We are headed to New Jersey in about 10 days to see Carrie in the Miss New Jersey pageant. We are looking forward to that and I will post pics of her and give you all an update on how she does. We are proud of her no matter what.

Well, that's all for now. Hope you are all happy and well. Until later...

Kelley & Dwaine

Mother's Day

Here are some of my thoughts on Mother's Day. I know they are a little late but here goes. I am not particularly fond of Mother's Day for two reasons. First reason, I am not a biological mother. I know, I know, I do have step children and they are more than wonderful. As a matter of fact, the boys got me the coolest card for Mother's Day that made me cry. It was really sweet. Dwaine's children are my step children however, they are grown and I didn't have a part in how they were raised. More importantly, they have their own mother and I do not want to step over that boundary. They love their mother and she loves them too.

Next reason I don't like Mother's Day. My mom is gone. Every Mother's Day, I sit at mass on that Sunday Mother's Day morning and cry my eyes out. I hate it. I don't have my own mom here anymore and I am not technically a mom either. Those are the reasons I don't like Mother's Day.

Now, I don't want you to feel sorry for me, that is not my intention. I am simply stating a fact. Here's the good part. Mother's Day is meaning more to me now than ever. Especially this last one. After my Sunday morning church crying session, Ryan and I spent the day together here at home. His mom picked him up later in the day to spend some time with him. I always have a good time with Ryan, he is a hoot! Next, Dwaine came home from being in New Jersey for the weekend. He always makes a big deal for me on Mother's Day but this one was really special. He got me a card and signed it from Ryleigh. It was a mommy to be card and that made me cry too. The next day, the boys gave me a really sweet card for Mother's Day. That made me cry too! One week later, my cool secret pal from my Yahoo! group sent me a tiny little t-shirt for Ryleigh and a lady bug magnet and some information about Panda bears. That made me cry too. I haven't bought one thing for the baby yet. Mostly because she doesn't seem real to me. The little t-shirt gave me something tangible to help me realize that there is going to be a tiny little girl to fill that tiny little t-shirt. Now with all of these things, I am starting to feel more like a mommy and more like someone who has influenced the lives of Dwaine's kids too. I am truly blessed to be where I am in my life. I would not trade it for the world.

Changes

Well, we have had a few changes this past week. I am usually not a fan of change. Change can be bad or change can be for the better. I believe that the changes that are taking place in our lives right now are for the better.

First of all, Carrie graduated from college last weekend. That is a great change. Carrie is a very bright young woman. She graduated summa cum laude from Westminster Choir College. Carrie will be attending graduate school at Westminster next year. She has always done so well for herself. In a couple of weeks, she will be in the Miss New Jersey pageant for the second year in a row. She placed in the top 10 last year, let's see if she can make it all the way this year. We are pulling for you, Carrie!

Today David left for Fort Jackson, SC. He begins basic training for the Army. He has had a few struggles finding his way and for him to take this big leap is very admirable. Dwaine took him to St. Louis today and I think it has been really hard for him to leave David there. We are so proud of him for taking this step. I hope this will give him purpose and meaning in his life. I also hope that it will help bring his talents out because he has so many talents and he is a very intelligent young man. Please keep him in your prayers. We miss you already, David.

Ryan is getting ready to finish 9th grade and then will be moving on to high school. Next Fall, he will attend Hickman High school. He will also have his driver's license.

So, lots of changes taking place right now. Then throw in the adoption. Life is exciting and always changing. I think that is a good thing. It helps us all grow and learn.

Everyone stay safe and healthy and until next time...

Kelley & Dwaine

Bai Jia Bei (I don't know how to pronounce it but I can do the Chinese accent really well!)

Hi to all of our family and friends,

Not much new on the adoption front. There is one thing that I am participating in that I think I may have mentioned in an earlier e-mail to you all. I am putting together a quilt for our daughter-to-be. The quilt is a Chinese tradition. It originated in northern China and it celebrates and welcomes a new life. It is called a Bai Jia Bei or 100 good wishes quilt. It is a custom to invite friends and family to contribute a patch of cloth with a wish for the baby. The patch of cloth goes into the quilt for the baby and a scrap of the cloth can go into a memory book for the baby. The quilt is said to contain the luck, energy and good wishes from all the families and friends who contributed z piece of fabric. The quilt is then passed down from generation to generation.

Here's how it works if you are interested:

• Choose any 100% cotton fabric (not flannel). The fabric can have some significant meaning for you or it can just be something you like. Prewashing is preferred but not required. Cut an 8x8 inch square from the fabric.



• Write a wish for Ryleigh on a post-card or note card. The wish can be handwritten or typed. It can be a hope for her, thoughts on the adoption, a poem, verse, saying, advice or anything meaningful. Please sign you name.



• You also will need to cut a smaller piece of the fabric. (1 or 2 inches) and attach it to your notecard so that she will know who the fabric squares are from. We will match the wishes and the author of the card to the patches of the quilt. The notecards will go into a scrapbook.

The picture above is an example of a quilt square and wish. There is also an example of the finished quilt. If you have more than one person in your family who would like to participate, please feel free to send more than one quilt block and wish. We are trying to get 100 blocks all together so the more the merrier. Children are welcome to participate as well.

It is hard to wait for so long for our daughter so I am finding little projects like this one to keep me busy. I am not a quilter by any means, I will find someone to put it together for me.

Thanks in advance for participating. If you have questions about how it works, please e-mail me.

Kelley